I once had a dream during the lockdown where I was entered into a top-tier skateboarding competition. It was going to take place inside a shopping mall where a large arena was built specially for the occasion. The skate park had the tallest ramps and most death-defying obstacles. The excitement was buzzing. I was waiting my turn for a test run on the course the night before. In the meantime, the competitors were skating around the mall and hanging out.
I suddenly realized something that struck me with embarrassing fear. I hadn’t been to a skatepark in 20 years! What am I doing in this competition! How did I even end up here? Luckily, I figured there was still enough time to practice and catch up on everything I needed to know… in just one night. Yeah right!
As I skated around the mall I felt I was getting the hang of it. I tried a couple tricks I didn’t know I could do—and almost landed them. But it wasn’t long before I accepted the fact that I had no business in this competition. I had no business on a skateboard, and I was going to fail at this, tragically. After a short time I determined I was going to drop out. It was the smartest decision I could make. Ease washed over me as I accepted it.
But not long after even that didn’t feel right, because now it felt like I was giving up on something I waited my entire life for. It was hard to know what the right decision was. I was presented with this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but it was risky, and I was simply not prepared for it. It was my turn to run the course. Even though I knew I was backing out, I just wanted to get a look at it anyway.
On my way something was telling me I had years to prepare for this, but that instead of practicing for this grand feat, I put it off and wasted all my time. I came to understand it was a squandered opportunity. And unlike me, all these other confident and capable skaters around me didn’t waste their time (ironically). This thought burned inside me as I saw them doing impressive tricks that I couldn’t imagine doing. The thought of me spending my time playing video games, watching television shows for hours, scrolling social media, binge drinking all night and wasting the entire next day… now haunted me as I wondered where my time went. The self-resentment and guilt covered me like soaking wet clothes.
“Why didn’t I practice for this all these years… didn’t I expect this was coming? Isn’t this what I always knew was going to happen? Wasn’t this what I dreamt for my entire life?”
When I got into the empty arena it was dimly lit, aside from a few lights over the skate course. Hundreds of stadium seats surrounded the elaborate obstacles. Inside, only one person was waiting for me, sitting under a lone spotlight in the front row.
My mother.
She got down from her seat and stood facing me. She looked solemn as I approached her. I expected to see her there. She had always been my biggest fan. The closer I got, her face began to resemble the feeling that was inside me. But being my mother, her expression told me she would love me anyway.
I don’t remember much about the conversation. But I remember saying something like,
“Can you believe I actually thought I could do this?”
The look on her face told me I could have done it—I could have been ready, had I just believed in myself and prepared for it. That was all I remember.
I dream almost every night. Most of the time I remember just glimpses, while some dreams stick with me like a memory. When I woke up the next morning after this dream, I thought it was funny.
“What do I have to do with skateboarding?” I laughed.
It wasn’t until nearly two weeks later I realize there was an important connection with that dream to my real life. While I may not have anything to do with skateboarding, there is something of equal magnitude I have wanted for a very long time. Ever since I started writing music, stories, and painting, I’ve wanted nothing else than one day be good enough to offer it to the world in the form of a career. But just like me, I know there are thousands of others who dream of doing the same.
Ooooh, now it makes sense (a nervous smile follows).
Some people say dreams have no meaning, while others believe them to be powerful messages for us to try and understand. I have always believed dreams were important. Sometimes they are silly, I admit. And nightmares are never fun. Some dreams have shaken me up and complicated my entire next day. Being that I dream almost each night, I do not think it wise to dissect or consider each dream as holding a profound significance. Sometimes our brain must exercise the complex chemistry that is always building, and dreams are nothing more than that (whether we’re comfortable with it or not.) But sometimes they are indeed prophetic, receiving insight, wisdom, and messages from a divine source.
So the way I see this dream is… if you want something in life there must be no doubt you will have the opportunities to achieve it. Just make sure you are ready when the time comes.
Live like you believe it.